Perfection isn't the answer.

My summer is winding down. i can count the number of "free" days left on just three fingers. As a teacher, i often hide the fact that i count on my fingers, especially when adding. Though, when i admit in front of my blessed class that i have to count by fives to gauge the time left in class (and i keep track of the fives secretly on my knuckles), they smile and give me tips to help count 30 minutes easily.

I just read a little article about society's narrow view of beauty, and it reminds me that as teachers (and plain adults too), we have a challenge to model imperfection, to model ugly, to model struggle in learning. i think the challenge is not simply in admitting to our own challenges, but to embrace our whole selves with compassion, and then ask for help in growing and learning how to overcome challenge, or embrace what society might call ugly or imperfect as beautiful and perfectly acceptable.

My heart hurts when i see students hide the fact that they are struggling; or that their first attempt at something didn't meet their expectations; when they feel "stupid". i am a recovering "stupid" and i can easily get down on myself when i don't reach "perfect". Teaching helps me understand the process of growth. Being able to learn alongside kids who are Eager! Driven! and Accepting helps me to focus on the challenge at hand, and not worry so much about whether or not i will be/do "perfect".

A few days ago i was out at a climbing wall, and a man in his twenties was attempting to lead climb his first 5.10b. Vocabulary breakdown (very generally): Lead climbing is when the rope end is attached to the climber. the climber's job is to free climb (no protection from the rope) a short distance and then clip the rope into a bolt in the rock. the belayer on the ground then belays the climber up to the next bolt. The climber has to keep clipping in all the way up the wall until the climber reaches the top, where the climber then secures the rope with an anchor. Sport climbs are rated Class 5 in the Yosemite Decimal Rating System. Walking is Class 1. Class 5 is then decimaled out to tell the level of the climb's difficulty. When i teach a beginner climber, i'll have her start out on a 5.4 or 5.5. The beasts of rock climbing are busting out at 5.15. There can be even smaller increments of difficulty, signaled when a 5.10 increases to a 5.10b or 5.10c. After that, it will become a 5.11.

Back to the story. This young guy was struggling on the wall. He couldn't find a good hold in order to get to his next bolt, even while his buddies were calling up suggestions. We learned, as we watched, that this was his first attempt. He yelled down, "I suck at this!" Such a familiar feeling to me! That feeling keeps me from persisting at a new idea or skill. That feeling is my nemesis and i try to squelch it whenever possible. i called up, "How can you suck if you've never done it before?"

As i start back to work next week, and anticipate all the new things that i will try (and expect perfection), i must keep asking myself and my students, "how can we expect perfection when we've never done this before?" I would love to annihilate the concept of Perfection, and retrain ourselves to seek our individual potential and ask instead, "did i conduct this to my highest potential?."